i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
