She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
