I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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