she looked like the bat from fern gully.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
