So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
