Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
