well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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