Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
