does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
