im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
