Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
