Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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