i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
