I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
