How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
