just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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