What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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