You made me cry and you don't even care
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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