Umm I'm too high to move.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
