my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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