Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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