If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
