I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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