Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
