just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
