Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
