He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
