White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
