If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
