my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
