This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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