you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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