he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
