Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
