your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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