I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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