That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
