your room smells of hookers.
And success
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
