every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
