He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
