well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
