is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
