The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
