I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
