her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
