guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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