the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
