I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
