Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
