I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I had to cum in my sink.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
