Where did you get a picture of my penis
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
