At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
