Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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