Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
